Earlier this fall a friend came over and she had with her a "Peace Packet". It's a collection of verses and wisdom about living in Peace with God.
One of the cards had showed a cycle on it that we all go through:
Crisis
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
After you go through the acceptance stage you move back up to what becomes a new normal.
It might be a crisis of faith.
It might be a crisis related to circumstances.
I know this cycle pretty well. Always seems easier to identify in hindsight.
Today I saw it because I was feeling a bit depressed. When God is showing me something new, at the beginning of that there is a "oh my gosh that's awesome" reaction to light and truth. I really do hate stumbling around in the dark. But after that wears off some there is often a sadness that comes.
It is sad to realize how demanding and ungrateful your life has been. It's sad to know that recognizing the truth doesn't eliminate the process of dying that is always a part of God changing your life. I think there is even a part of me that's sad I can't change on my own. Oh my goodness.
Truly being a person who wants only what God wants and chooses thankfulness in all circumstances is not my current normal. I hope I'm in the process of accepting it as truth that I really do need to depend on the Lord to live by.
I'm getting help with this from some friends.
There is a family that lives in Southern California. All three of us, love all six of them very much. I got an email from the Mom telling me they are facing some very tough possibilities for their daughters health. Their daughter is eighteen. We've emailed, we've talked, we've prayed and I've watched their reactions on Facebook.
The post on the day before exploratory surgery and a three day wait for results: "Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Yep, that is what my friend is telling her circle of friends she's gonna do. You see its been her theme verse for quite some time now. She lives with MS. She is not bitter. She is beautiful. She is practiced up and knows how to live out this verse with her daughter and the rest of their family and friends. When we got off the phone the other night, I was truly amazed by her attitudes, thought processes and willingness to walk the thing out. It is a joy to be her friend and to see what trusting Christ can really do.
Are you at one of these stages in this cycle regarding something in your life? Gratefulness may truly be the fastest route to acceptance and then to a new normal found in trusting Christ.
Dear Lord,
Thanks for being patient and merciful with our ungrateful hearts. Thanks for opening our eyes to what is going on inside our minds and hearts. Help us to figure out what keeps us from trusting you and keeps us being ungrateful. Thank you for giving us the grace and mercy we need to be thankful in all circumstances. Apart from you we can truly do nothing.
Amen
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
An answer to many prayers...
Random events sometimes makes sense when they are all put together.
I've been struggling with contentment this fall. God's given me a vision for a meaningful ministry. He's even given me tools to use. I've been introduced to people who tell me that they marvel at the timing of meeting me and to the helpfulness of these tools in their lives. My journey is proving to be helpful to others as they walk with the Lord. Serious amounts of joy and purpose have surrounded all of that.
So what is the problem? Money. Events keep taking place that have drained our financial resources or things we are responsible for have shown evidence that they need our attention beyond our ability to pay right now. One solution to this problem is that I stop spending my time doing what I do. I go get a job that pays me for my time. Enter confusion and frustration. During the summer, I start asking God for help. Don't know how to be not confused and not frustrated.
Enter random events...
Devotional in Colorado includes thoughts on "being thankful in all circumstances".
Participation through the fall in a bible study focused on Colossians. Guess what is a very big theme in this book. Yep, thankfulness.
A friend gives me a book called Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I initially loan it out to someone in my small group because I have 20+ books on my must read shelf in my office. It gets returned to me the Thursday before Thanksgiving.
While devouring this book on gratefulness the light bulb finally goes off. Nope not random events at all. Instead they are all very purposeful answers to pray.
Dear beloved daughter,
You, my dear, have a gratitude problem. Don't beat yourself up to bad about it. It's a common problem. If you will take, what I've been showing you for a couple of months now to heart - then you'll be allowing me to change your life.
Your Heavenly Father
So at the end of Nancy's book, there is a 30 day devotional and journal project. I'm on day three. I'm very grateful to be doing this between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I'm also marveling once again how God answers prayer over time.
I've already seen confusion replaced with trust... ignorance with knowledge... frustration with hopefulness. All in the midst of no more clarity then I had a month ago about how God is going to provide. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this has been a significant missing piece. As I allow myself to focus on what/who I'm grateful for each day, I'm better able to give up on trying to control my future.
To my friends who have been in the midst of this confusion with me. Thanks for your patience with me. Thanks for listening to me work through this. Thanks for praying with me and for me.
"Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart." Apostle Paul
I've been struggling with contentment this fall. God's given me a vision for a meaningful ministry. He's even given me tools to use. I've been introduced to people who tell me that they marvel at the timing of meeting me and to the helpfulness of these tools in their lives. My journey is proving to be helpful to others as they walk with the Lord. Serious amounts of joy and purpose have surrounded all of that.
So what is the problem? Money. Events keep taking place that have drained our financial resources or things we are responsible for have shown evidence that they need our attention beyond our ability to pay right now. One solution to this problem is that I stop spending my time doing what I do. I go get a job that pays me for my time. Enter confusion and frustration. During the summer, I start asking God for help. Don't know how to be not confused and not frustrated.
Enter random events...
Devotional in Colorado includes thoughts on "being thankful in all circumstances".
Participation through the fall in a bible study focused on Colossians. Guess what is a very big theme in this book. Yep, thankfulness.
A friend gives me a book called Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I initially loan it out to someone in my small group because I have 20+ books on my must read shelf in my office. It gets returned to me the Thursday before Thanksgiving.
While devouring this book on gratefulness the light bulb finally goes off. Nope not random events at all. Instead they are all very purposeful answers to pray.
Dear beloved daughter,
You, my dear, have a gratitude problem. Don't beat yourself up to bad about it. It's a common problem. If you will take, what I've been showing you for a couple of months now to heart - then you'll be allowing me to change your life.
Your Heavenly Father
So at the end of Nancy's book, there is a 30 day devotional and journal project. I'm on day three. I'm very grateful to be doing this between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I'm also marveling once again how God answers prayer over time.
I've already seen confusion replaced with trust... ignorance with knowledge... frustration with hopefulness. All in the midst of no more clarity then I had a month ago about how God is going to provide. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this has been a significant missing piece. As I allow myself to focus on what/who I'm grateful for each day, I'm better able to give up on trying to control my future.
To my friends who have been in the midst of this confusion with me. Thanks for your patience with me. Thanks for listening to me work through this. Thanks for praying with me and for me.
"Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart." Apostle Paul
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Ft. Worth Update
I'm happy to report that a friend has decided to join me in Ft. Worth on Tuesdays! It's incredibly nice to have a partner in this adventure!
The girls amaze me in one way or another every single week. This week one of them asked the group to help her come up with a list of things that distract us from our relationship with God. Can you get a better conversation starter question from a student to the group?
I told another friend a week or so ago, I have no idea what I'm doing. She said you mean your on a wing and a prayer. That's a pretty accurate description. So far its working out just fine. Jesus keeps answering our prayers for this group.
If you think of these girls, pray they have courage to keep trusting God with their lives!
The girls amaze me in one way or another every single week. This week one of them asked the group to help her come up with a list of things that distract us from our relationship with God. Can you get a better conversation starter question from a student to the group?
I told another friend a week or so ago, I have no idea what I'm doing. She said you mean your on a wing and a prayer. That's a pretty accurate description. So far its working out just fine. Jesus keeps answering our prayers for this group.
If you think of these girls, pray they have courage to keep trusting God with their lives!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Thoughts on Listen To My Life
Below is a newsletter article I was asked to write so I thought I'd post it here too.
What’s Up with Listen To My Life
I was asked if I would write about Listen To My Life and what I see happening in the retreats/workshops/classes that use this material. That’s a really big and broad topic. Why is that? Well, for one thing every life and all the stories that make up that life are very unique. And, God is very aware of who we are… what matters to each of us and why. So as you hear the stories you experience all the variety that comes with uniqueness.
On the other extreme, you see the common themes that make up all of our lives. So you have a chance to marvel at these people who God has created; marvel at how God interacts with them throughout their lives. And you also get the chance to see where your journey has been similar.
A couple of different opportunities arise around the similarities. Sometimes in the similarities you have the opportunity to encourage hope because of what you have been brought through. At other times you are the one receiving hope because of how faith in God has made a radical difference in the life of someone else.
I also see another major theme that shows up during Listen To My Life. It is a place where lies have the opportunity to be replaced with truth. In this process you discover what motivates you and why. This is an excellent resource of information. Sometimes you discover you’re motivated by something that is not true. You realize the lies keep you fearful or controlled. When the lie gets replaced with genuine trust in God there is a freedom that comes with that transformation in your thinking. As you experience that process it trains you to continue repeating it with the Lord and with other believers. You start to ask yourself, “What do I believe? Why do I believe it? Is that true? If it’s not true, LORD show me what is. Give me the faith I need to walk by faith in You.”
Watching people go through all this and being there with them as they explore their journeys is marvelous… heart wrenching… hopeful… challenging… eye opening… mysterious and revealing. You see, every time God is trusted, change happens. I want to be a part of helping people trust God just a little bit more every day. So after five times of doing Listen To My Life as either a participant or a Facilitator, I have no hesitations about going through it again and again. May the Lord keep leading me to others that can benefit as much as I have benefited.
What’s Up with Listen To My Life
I was asked if I would write about Listen To My Life and what I see happening in the retreats/workshops/classes that use this material. That’s a really big and broad topic. Why is that? Well, for one thing every life and all the stories that make up that life are very unique. And, God is very aware of who we are… what matters to each of us and why. So as you hear the stories you experience all the variety that comes with uniqueness.
On the other extreme, you see the common themes that make up all of our lives. So you have a chance to marvel at these people who God has created; marvel at how God interacts with them throughout their lives. And you also get the chance to see where your journey has been similar.
A couple of different opportunities arise around the similarities. Sometimes in the similarities you have the opportunity to encourage hope because of what you have been brought through. At other times you are the one receiving hope because of how faith in God has made a radical difference in the life of someone else.
I also see another major theme that shows up during Listen To My Life. It is a place where lies have the opportunity to be replaced with truth. In this process you discover what motivates you and why. This is an excellent resource of information. Sometimes you discover you’re motivated by something that is not true. You realize the lies keep you fearful or controlled. When the lie gets replaced with genuine trust in God there is a freedom that comes with that transformation in your thinking. As you experience that process it trains you to continue repeating it with the Lord and with other believers. You start to ask yourself, “What do I believe? Why do I believe it? Is that true? If it’s not true, LORD show me what is. Give me the faith I need to walk by faith in You.”
Watching people go through all this and being there with them as they explore their journeys is marvelous… heart wrenching… hopeful… challenging… eye opening… mysterious and revealing. You see, every time God is trusted, change happens. I want to be a part of helping people trust God just a little bit more every day. So after five times of doing Listen To My Life as either a participant or a Facilitator, I have no hesitations about going through it again and again. May the Lord keep leading me to others that can benefit as much as I have benefited.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Is this vanity?
Got a little surprised today when I looked up the word vanity. The first definition didn't surprise me.
Vanity - excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities and achievements.
But the second one did, because I would not have been able to state this a definition but on a subconscious level this is believed.
Vanity - lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness.
Christian women are in the midst of confusion. When is doing something I believe is good for me a vain choice and when is it not?
Or, they struggle when, they do something that is good for them and it produces good results but then deal with vanity about it at the end. Sure complicates decision making about in future choices. If I'm just going to wind up a vain idiot - Why bother?
I start to explore these thoughts the most when someone in the media says: "If you don't take good care of your self then you can't take good care of other people" I wonder, "Why does that statement ring hollow?"
Here's a few things that I think we should consider the next time we're wrestling with this. Why am I motivated to take action on this... whatever this is for you? Are there any vain reasons driving me? If so what are they and why? Is there something the Lord wants me to reconsider about those types of motivations?
On the other hand, are there any truly healthy God honoring reasons for why I'm motivated to take action? If so, how do I look to God for help? Who's going to get the credit if change actually happens in my life?
This is a big deal! Lack of delving into this paralyzes so many.
Vanity - excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities and achievements.
But the second one did, because I would not have been able to state this a definition but on a subconscious level this is believed.
Vanity - lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness.
Christian women are in the midst of confusion. When is doing something I believe is good for me a vain choice and when is it not?
Or, they struggle when, they do something that is good for them and it produces good results but then deal with vanity about it at the end. Sure complicates decision making about in future choices. If I'm just going to wind up a vain idiot - Why bother?
I start to explore these thoughts the most when someone in the media says: "If you don't take good care of your self then you can't take good care of other people" I wonder, "Why does that statement ring hollow?"
Here's a few things that I think we should consider the next time we're wrestling with this. Why am I motivated to take action on this... whatever this is for you? Are there any vain reasons driving me? If so what are they and why? Is there something the Lord wants me to reconsider about those types of motivations?
On the other hand, are there any truly healthy God honoring reasons for why I'm motivated to take action? If so, how do I look to God for help? Who's going to get the credit if change actually happens in my life?
This is a big deal! Lack of delving into this paralyzes so many.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What a week!
Tomorrow, I'll be sharing a testimony about freedom in Christ.
A week ago, I thought it might be a good idea to go into Liz's office after Bible Study and Leader's lunch and say. We gotta come up with plan B. I can't do it. The words aren't coming.
But during leaders lunch that day, I was sitting at a table. We started talking about the next week. The walls that were keeping the words and organization of the talk from developing came down. God's provision.
The next day, I met with another friend who knows me better than I know myself. She helped me clarify what I was saying. Identify where the words weren't flowing etc. God's provision.
It has started to become a tradition. I include music in some form or fashion when I speak. I was asking God for a song that matched up. The one I had in mind initially would be a little hard for some of the women to enjoy enough to hear the words so I kept praying. A youtube video of a song that matches up very well shows up on my facebook home page. God's provision.
I go over the talk a third time. This friend does an excellent job of pulling out what do you mean by that. Say more. We identify more place where it's decent writing but horrible speaking material. God's provision.
Technical aspects of power-point and coordinating of digits and people is coming together nicely. No small provision from the Lord.
Many people have contacted me in some form or another and said, your on my mind and I'm praying. God's provision.
Okay Lord, I really think you want me to do this. So how can we deal with the part of me that would like to run in the opposite direction?
A dear mentor reintroduced me to the words below a while back. I was reminded of them this morning.
"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous."
Usually I camp on the first four words. If you ever think you see me being strong or courageous you can be sure your seeing the Lord in me. I personally am a wimp and a coward. Seriously.
Today the next set of words jumped. Why, because I do believe a part of our inheritance as believers in Jesus Christ is freedom in Him. If I can say something that helps another person trust Christ and therefore know freedom then it is a good idea to say something.
I'm praying that God will be glorified, that the Holy Spirit will speak and I will trust the Lord with my inadequacies throughout the day tomorrow. Believe me I'll be repeating, be strong in Christ a lot.
If you see this before Thursday at 9:00am. Pray for the women I'll be sharing with. Pray whatever the Lord puts on your heart to pray.
P.S. - Those words I quoted are from the first chapter of Joshua
A week ago, I thought it might be a good idea to go into Liz's office after Bible Study and Leader's lunch and say. We gotta come up with plan B. I can't do it. The words aren't coming.
But during leaders lunch that day, I was sitting at a table. We started talking about the next week. The walls that were keeping the words and organization of the talk from developing came down. God's provision.
The next day, I met with another friend who knows me better than I know myself. She helped me clarify what I was saying. Identify where the words weren't flowing etc. God's provision.
It has started to become a tradition. I include music in some form or fashion when I speak. I was asking God for a song that matched up. The one I had in mind initially would be a little hard for some of the women to enjoy enough to hear the words so I kept praying. A youtube video of a song that matches up very well shows up on my facebook home page. God's provision.
I go over the talk a third time. This friend does an excellent job of pulling out what do you mean by that. Say more. We identify more place where it's decent writing but horrible speaking material. God's provision.
Technical aspects of power-point and coordinating of digits and people is coming together nicely. No small provision from the Lord.
Many people have contacted me in some form or another and said, your on my mind and I'm praying. God's provision.
Okay Lord, I really think you want me to do this. So how can we deal with the part of me that would like to run in the opposite direction?
A dear mentor reintroduced me to the words below a while back. I was reminded of them this morning.
"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous."
Usually I camp on the first four words. If you ever think you see me being strong or courageous you can be sure your seeing the Lord in me. I personally am a wimp and a coward. Seriously.
Today the next set of words jumped. Why, because I do believe a part of our inheritance as believers in Jesus Christ is freedom in Him. If I can say something that helps another person trust Christ and therefore know freedom then it is a good idea to say something.
I'm praying that God will be glorified, that the Holy Spirit will speak and I will trust the Lord with my inadequacies throughout the day tomorrow. Believe me I'll be repeating, be strong in Christ a lot.
If you see this before Thursday at 9:00am. Pray for the women I'll be sharing with. Pray whatever the Lord puts on your heart to pray.
P.S. - Those words I quoted are from the first chapter of Joshua
Friday, October 09, 2009
Which is easier?
What a challenge it is to walk by faith!
But is it even harder to walk by doubt?
Maybe the answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Is there an area of your life where your starting to see that you might be afraid to walk by faith?
What makes doubt easier?
Thoughts:
When its so normal you don't even realize your doing it.
When its culturally acceptable.
When it feels more secure than faith.
When you can hide rather than be visible. A walk of faith sometimes makes you more visible/accountable than you would prefer to be.
What makes faith easier?
Thoughts:
Trust
Eternal perspectives
Being fed up with the results of following the culture
Caring about other people more than yourself
Reminders of who God is and who I am not.
Allowing God to show me an error when I thought I was walking in the truth.
My new favorite questions are: What am I afraid of? Why?
Asking these questions has brought me from doubt to faith on a few things recently. Humbling. A little disorienting and mixed with significant moments of rejoicing and freedom.
All impossible without God.
Wonder if I'll ever feel articulate about this walk of faith? Consistently living beyond my ability to communicate. For someone who likes to write that can be extremely annoying! I can only imagine what its like for those who brave reading these thoughts.
But is it even harder to walk by doubt?
Maybe the answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Is there an area of your life where your starting to see that you might be afraid to walk by faith?
What makes doubt easier?
Thoughts:
When its so normal you don't even realize your doing it.
When its culturally acceptable.
When it feels more secure than faith.
When you can hide rather than be visible. A walk of faith sometimes makes you more visible/accountable than you would prefer to be.
What makes faith easier?
Thoughts:
Trust
Eternal perspectives
Being fed up with the results of following the culture
Caring about other people more than yourself
Reminders of who God is and who I am not.
Allowing God to show me an error when I thought I was walking in the truth.
My new favorite questions are: What am I afraid of? Why?
Asking these questions has brought me from doubt to faith on a few things recently. Humbling. A little disorienting and mixed with significant moments of rejoicing and freedom.
All impossible without God.
Wonder if I'll ever feel articulate about this walk of faith? Consistently living beyond my ability to communicate. For someone who likes to write that can be extremely annoying! I can only imagine what its like for those who brave reading these thoughts.
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